Hey Guys

To those of you who care to leave your 'male' point of view - feel free to do so in the dating threads etc... a few of us girls are driving ourselves batty with trying to work out what the 'guyspeak' means!
:shakehead:
Thanks!

Nattie

Yes Please!!!!!!!!!!

This could be quite interesting :clapping: I'd like to hear another side to things :waving:

I think the key to understanding things from a male perspective is that we always over think everything. To guys the world is a MUCH simpler place & we always go overboard. They don't think of the zillion other possiblilites like us.

Like getting dressed - a guy just goes "oh its warm (or not) I'll just wear shorts & a T-shirt." Where as we go more like this...
Mmmm? Its pretty cold this morning but it might warm up later i need to wear layers.
Where am I going today?
Who will or might see me?
Will I be walking all day? Should I really wear heels?
I can't wear flats with these pants, but my other pants are too casual and I can't wear a skirt & tights because I haven't shaved my legs and I really want to wear this top but it looks better with my hair out but it's really dirty today & I don't have time to wash it.......

Sound familar?

oh god medusa , so right , apparently i'm always over thinking things

I think the key to understanding things from a male perspective is that we always over think everything. To guys the world is a MUCH simpler place & we always go overboard. They don't think of the zillion other possiblilites like us.

Like getting dressed - a guy just goes "oh its warm (or not) I'll just wear shorts & a T-shirt." Where as we go more like this...
Mmmm? Its pretty cold this morning but it might warm up later i need to wear layers.
Where am I going today?
Who will or might see me?
Will I be walking all day? Should I really wear heels?
I can't wear flats with these pants, but my other pants are too casual and I can't wear a skirt & tights because I haven't shaved my legs and I really want to wear this top but it looks better with my hair out but it's really dirty today & I don't have time to wash it.......

Sound familar?

Oh yes spot on!

I think the key to understanding things from a male perspective is that we always over think everything. To guys the world is a MUCH simpler place & we always go overboard. They don't think of the zillion other possiblilites like us.

Like getting dressed - a guy just goes "oh its warm (or not) I'll just wear shorts & a T-shirt." Where as we go more like this...
Mmmm? Its pretty cold this morning but it might warm up later i need to wear layers.
Where am I going today?
Who will or might see me?
Will I be walking all day? Should I really wear heels?
I can't wear flats with these pants, but my other pants are too casual and I can't wear a skirt & tights because I haven't shaved my legs and I really want to wear this top but it looks better with my hair out but it's really dirty today & I don't have time to wash it.......

Sound familar?

I don't know, my boyfriend always asks me if he looks alright and then has to stare at a mirror for 10mins. He takes ages, not as long as me but still.

yeah i know a few guys that are just as concerned about that little bit of flab on their bellies as we are!! kinda refreshing to know.. guess they just don't chat about it like we do! :chuckle:

yeah i know a few guys that are just as concerned about that little bit of flab on their bellies as we are!! kinda refreshing to know.. guess they just don't chat about it like we do! :chuckle:

Ha ha I know. My bf does sit-ups every morning and such. I don't do anything. As soon as I wake up it's straight to the pantry. Hmmmm he looks at himself alot and does exercise every morning, maybe I'm dating a gay guy. Although he doesn't know a thing about skin care. He doesn't even wash his face, so yeah, probably not gay.

All guys are different. I don't understand what you mean about 'guy speak' though. I am a very analytical person, so I will think everything through a few times, coming up with numerous possibilities. Whether it is in regards to clothing or what to have for lunch lol. If you show me some 'guy speak', maybe I can decipher if for you? :chuckle: Hehe. But yeah, just my 2 cents worth.

Chris, is it true that if a guy likes a girl he will definitely ask her out? And if he doesn't ask her out, does that mean "he's just not that into her" and she should move on, quicksmart?

Hmmmmmmmmm, good question. Me personally, I like to get to know a girl first, ask her things etc, then ask her out. Then basically you know whether you really like her or not. A lot of guys ask girls out based on looks and don't really get to know the girl properly before going on a date.

Is this related to something happening in your life at the moment? If so, my advice is not to wait forever, us guys like the girl to put a foot forward sometimes, bite the bullet and ask us out. You don't want to wait and wait, then nothing ever happens because he was too afraid to ask you out. So have a go, see what happens. Good luck.

Hmmmmmmmmm, good question. Me personally, I like to get to know a girl first, ask her things etc, then ask her out. Then basically you know whether you really like her or not. A lot of guys ask girls out based on looks and don't really get to know the girl properly before going on a date.

Is this related to something happening in your life at the moment? If so, my advice is not to wait forever, us guys like the girl to put a foot forward sometimes, bite the bullet and ask us out. You don't want to wait and wait, then nothing ever happens because he was too afraid to ask you out. So have a go, see what happens. Good luck.

OK but see that's the thing!!! The "he's just not that into you" wisdom states that if a guy really likes you, HE will ask YOU out. And under no circumstances (according to the books) should a girl ever chase a guy! Apparently guys like the chase and they don't like to be chased. Apparently if a guy isn't asking you out, bottom line is, he's just not that into you.

True?

Yeah but if he really likes you is one thing, but actually asking you on a date is another. He might be too afraid to ask you out, who knows? I don't believe the guy always asking out the girl theory, I think it's silly to think that, I mean, why do we always have to ask the girl out? If he's a fairly confident guy, I'd assume he would ask you out, but as I said previously, what's wrong with asking him out? You don't want to wait forever for him to get his act together do you? Some guys liked to be chased, some don't.

All guys are different. I don't understand what you mean about 'guy speak' though. I am a very analytical person, so I will think everything through a few times, coming up with numerous possibilities. Whether it is in regards to clothing or what to have for lunch lol. If you show me some 'guy speak', maybe I can decipher if for you? :chuckle: Hehe. But yeah, just my 2 cents worth.

Ok if you go for a first date over coffee and it all goes well, and you say you would like to see the girl again... and she agrees... and she tells you the only night she has free is Tuesday... and you say you will call early in the week... why would this girl not have had a call yet and it's Wednesday!!!!

Ok if you go for a first date over coffee and it all goes well, and you say you would like to see the girl again... and she agrees... and she tells you the only night she has free is Tuesday... and you say you will call early in the week... why would this girl not have had a call yet and it's Wednesday!!!!

That I do not know, maybe he forgot to call, or maybe he isn't interested. I would never do that, so I'm not sure why some guys do that. If it's the day after he said he would call, I would call him and ask what's up. Some guys are cruel, but some guys are forgetful, so give him a call, and see what's happened. Then at least you get a straight answer and there is no playing the waiting game.

That I do not know, maybe he forgot to call, or maybe he isn't interested. I would never do that, so I'm not sure why some guys do that. If it's the day after he said he would call, I would call him and ask what's up. Some guys are cruel, but some guys are forgetful, so give him a call, and see what's happened. Then at least you get a straight answer and there is no playing the waiting game.

Oohhhhh. I know he is really busy with work and has family issues going on but still, he has time to send me a text before he goes to bed! I am really disappointed. And I don't want to call him :tears:

Awwwwwwww, I feel for you. :( Maybe he is really caught up with everything like you said. Why don't you send him a text if you don't want to call, and just ask how he is etc. Don't just ask straight out what is happening with the call you were supposed to receive, just have a nice chat to him, then maybe ask later on what happened, just subtly though. Lot's of guys don't like clingy girls, though if you go about it like I said, he won't think you are clingy, rather than just asking straight away what happened with the call. And yeah, you definately deserve an answer.

Good luck. :)

Don't pity me! Please! I am not a clingy person (usually!!) Will see if I hear from him, otherwise might give him a call over the weekend...

I'm not pitying you, I just feel for you. I know how you feel. Alright, good luck.

The "he's just not that into you" wisdom states that if a guy really likes you, HE will ask YOU out. And under no circumstances (according to the books) should a girl ever chase a guy! Apparently guys like the chase and they don't like to be chased. Apparently if a guy isn't asking you out, bottom line is, he's just not that into you.

True?
Oh hogwash! Guys like being chased just as much as we do. Its an ego boost. Everyone likes it.

But we are fed such conflicting information. We are told if a guy is into us he will chase us, so if he doesn't we feel like crap and that we are not loved. It is really hard in this modern day and age!

I still think that if you want to take the lead and ask them out then just do it - that's obviously part of you and your personality and there's going to be a guy sooner or later that actually likes that about you.

Surely guys want to be chased a little too... to know they are wanted etc - not talking 'stalker' type but just shown a little bit of interest....

Do you know what I think my problem is? I want to know why. So if I don't hear from them, I want to call them even if it is just to ask why they are not keen - which is bad I know, but I see it as constructive criticism. Also maybe it's my sales background - I need to know why a client isn't advertising to see if there's something I can do to fix it etc.

I still think that if you want to take the lead and ask them out then just do it - that's obviously part of you and your personality and there's going to be a guy sooner or later that actually likes that about you.

Surely guys want to be chased a little too... to know they are wanted etc - not talking 'stalker' type but just shown a little bit of interest....

Yeah, my head knows you are absolutely right - but there is still the part of me that thinks "eeek, I'm a girl, I don't want to ask out a boy!", and I would also wonder whether he really did want to go out with me or just said yes for the hell of it because he had nothing better to do!

Do you know what I think my problem is? I want to know why. So if I don't hear from them, I want to call them even if it is just to ask why they are not keen - which is bad I know, but I see it as constructive criticism. Also maybe it's my sales background - I need to know why a client isn't advertising to see if there's something I can do to fix it etc.

SO true, celeste. I'm like that too. I'd like to have a complete debrief of every date/relationship I've ever had and know exactly what the deal was and why it went wrong (especially when I thought things were going well).

Oh Oz I am soooo glad you feel the same - I thought it was just me and I was some sort of control freak cos I wanted to know where I was going wrong! But do you know, I really don't think it is me at all. I am a great girl and a wonderful girlfriend (from memory... hahaha).

Oh Oz I am soooo glad you feel the same - I thought it was just me and I was some sort of control freak cos I wanted to know where I was going wrong! But do you know, I really don't think it is me at all. I am a great girl and a wonderful girlfriend (from memory... hahaha).

Nothing worse than when you think things are dandy and then you never hear from the guy again!

Nothing worse than when you think things are dandy and then you never hear from the guy again!

But how does that happen? How can we be so wrong? Or how can a guy give such mixed signals?!!

Totally agree!

If this miner boy doesn't get back to me after the sleep over I want to know why!

I want to know what they mean when they say 'see you later' do they mean I will in fact see you later or i'll wait and see what happens or if something better comes along!!

There needs to be a man-manual!!! Maybe that's why it's called a MANual and not a WOMANual!!??? :whistle::chuckle:

There needs to be a man-manual!!! Maybe that's why it's called a MANual and not a WOMANual!!??? :whistle::chuckle:

Good call Nat! Hahaha. Geez... and WE are supposed to be the difficult to understand sex!

It's true, guys like being asked out. In my opinion, if a girl asks me out, I am a lot more into her because she took the first step, instead of waiting for me.

What a load (the whole 'wait til he asks you, you must never ask him' mentality). Fellas get nervous/busy/vague/intend to do something & get sidetracked too, and they do like to be chased.

Toss the books, and just get out there and have fun with it! And remember, they are human, just like we are.

think of what & who u may miss out on just because u didn't ask , god don't wait , wait for what ??

think of what & who u may miss out on just because u didn't ask , god don't wait , wait for what ??

Well I dunno....I guess I just keep thinking that if he actually does like me, he will ask me out, and if he doesn't, he never liked me in the first place - simple really! I also really don't want to make a fool of myself and put my friendship with him on the line by asking him out and being rejected! :fish:

What a coincodence!!!! A couple of months ago i found out this guy really liked me and at that stage i wasn't really interested but the more i though about him etc i wanted to go out with him. He is really shy so i was waiting for him to ask me out or text me or something but he didn't so last night i found his number from a friends and mesaged him just to chat and he replied. and the way i see it is he woulnd't have replied if he wasn't still interested. i was rally nervous coz i didn't want to make a fool out of myself, i wanted to be sure he was still into me so i got my bff to ask his bff if he was still keen. then i made the first move last night and we'll see how the day goes today.

so i say go for it!!!! don't wait , you might miss out. guys are gentlemen anymore so put on your pants and do the asking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I dunno....I guess I just keep thinking that if he actually does like me, he will ask me out, and if he doesn't, he never liked me in the first place - simple really! I also really don't want to make a fool of myself and put my friendship with him on the line by asking him out and being rejected! :fish:

i do totally get your situation as it is a little different , can u ask a mutual friend to suss him out ?

i know it reeks of school , but i would be dying if i were u

What a coincodence!!!! A couple of months ago i found out this guy really liked me and at that stage i wasn't really interested but the more i though about him etc i wanted to go out with him. He is really shy so i was waiting for him to ask me out or text me or something but he didn't so last night i found his number from a friends and mesaged him just to chat and he replied. and the way i see it is he woulnd't have replied if he wasn't still interested. i was rally nervous coz i didn't want to make a fool out of myself, i wanted to be sure he was still into me so i got my bff to ask his bff if he was still keen. then i made the first move last night and we'll see how the day goes today.

so i say go for it!!!! don't wait , you might miss out. guys are gentlemen anymore so put on your pants and do the asking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would do it if he was just a guy whom I knew sort of randomly, a friend-of-a-friend type thing, but the guy I like is an actual friend and I don't want it to become weird between us! We have such a good chemistry now and I'd almost rather preserve that (and never know if it could have happened between us) than risk ruining it.....argghhhhh the pressure!

But I do love your story, pp - that's so awesome! :worship:

actually i think i need to tell u a story Oz , goes against what i said b4 though;)

i had a good friend , i ended up being SO attracted to him, tried to make it obvious without getting caught [if u know what i mean] , same as u i couldn't risk the "stuffing up " of the friendship [other friends involved]
well a few years on & he dropped me home , kissed me out of the blue [could've died] , i had just [just] started seeing another boy & he asked me if i was with this other guy , we ummed & that was the end of that , didn't see him for years & it has been really weird the couple of times i have seen him [in the last 10 yrs] , so in the end it did stuff things up or well maybe it just ran it's course as i had moved on from that group anyway

so your thoughts r very valid

ok that is a different story when your actually friends with him already. i think you should try and suss him out first and see what you find out. but maybe you should set your sights on another guy that your not friends with coz if you go out with your mate and its weird and your friendship gets ruin who can you talk to when you need to?

Ok in the previous post i was bragging that i made the first move now its up to him. I'm been flirting with him and well he's not flirting back. So i think i might just have to let this one flight the coop. Its just weird because i was at this aprty about a month ago and well i had 3 different ppl come up to me and say "blah blah" really likes you i think you should go talk to him and they wouldn't leave me or him alone. But now he isn't responsive at all i'd get a better response from a brick wall. i realise he is a quiet and shy guy but if he liked me i kinda would have thought he'd respond to my advanced etc. i've only flirted through text message but still its still flirting all the same.

Should i waste my time?

Why not just tell him how you feel? Maybe he's too shy to respond to flirting?

Ok in the previous post i was bragging that i made the first move now its up to him. I'm been flirting with him and well he's not flirting back. So i think i might just have to let this one flight the coop. Its just weird because i was at this aprty about a month ago and well i had 3 different ppl come up to me and say "blah blah" really likes you i think you should go talk to him and they wouldn't leave me or him alone. But now he isn't responsive at all i'd get a better response from a brick wall. i realise he is a quiet and shy guy but if he liked me i kinda would have thought he'd respond to my advanced etc. i've only flirted through text message but still its still flirting all the same.

Should i waste my time?

:hugs: I soooooo know how you feel. Want to jump off a cliff?

GIve it a go PP. I am feeling sooo loved-up today... and I took the plunge and called. Just go for it! What can you lose?! Good luck xxx

Ok in the previous post i was bragging that i made the first move now its up to him. I'm been flirting with him and well he's not flirting back. So i think i might just have to let this one flight the coop. Its just weird because i was at this aprty about a month ago and well i had 3 different ppl come up to me and say "blah blah" really likes you i think you should go talk to him and they wouldn't leave me or him alone. But now he isn't responsive at all i'd get a better response from a brick wall. i realise he is a quiet and shy guy but if he liked me i kinda would have thought he'd respond to my advanced etc. i've only flirted through text message but still its still flirting all the same.

Should i waste my time?

hmm first of all - texts/emails can be interpreted in any way - not always the way you intend!! i say give hime a day or two and then maybe ask him to catch up and see what the response is to that? you should be able to get a better feel for it in person....

I agree, texts and emails tend to lack flavour, especially if you don't know the person sending them very well (and sometimes even if you do).

Put it out there, ring him and arrange to get together for coffee or something. Be upfront, it's the only way to do it.

And ChrisW (who is after all male, and should therefore know more about the species than us) says:

Why not just tell him how you feel? Maybe he's too shy to respond to flirting?

at least if you pluck up the courage and it works out he'll think you're super cool (we all know that already) and if not, you won't be left wondering... win win!

I agree, texts and emails tend to lack flavour, especially if you don't know the person sending them very well (and sometimes even if you do).

Put it out there, ring him and arrange to get together for coffee or something. Be upfront, it's the only way to do it.

This is sooo true. I got a message that said 'hi celeste, thanks for your message last night, it was very sweet of you'. I thought, pfft, way to make me feel 5. Anway, on the date last night I said, 'what's with saying I am sweet?!' and he laughed and said I AM sweet and he means it in a nice way, not a 'you're 5' way (phew that could be a bit dodgy hahaha). SO call him

I think the key to understanding things from a male perspective is that we always over think everything. To guys the world is a MUCH simpler place & we always go overboard. They don't think of the zillion other possiblilites like us.

Like getting dressed - a guy just goes "oh its warm (or not) I'll just wear shorts & a T-shirt." Where as we go more like this...
Mmmm? Its pretty cold this morning but it might warm up later i need to wear layers.
Where am I going today?
Who will or might see me?
Will I be walking all day? Should I really wear heels?
I can't wear flats with these pants, but my other pants are too casual and I can't wear a skirt & tights because I haven't shaved my legs and I really want to wear this top but it looks better with my hair out but it's really dirty today & I don't have time to wash it.......

Sound familar?

That is just so true medusa!!! :chuckle::chuckle::chuckle: I usually end up having to "redress" the boys at my place before we get to go anywhere...

Well there has been developments in the not texting me crisis. I was lying in bed thinking that all Tv is crap these days and then i got a message and he asked me how i was and what i was up to? He was out at a party just down the road and i kinda thought he might have messaged me for a booty call. You know what guys are like when they are drinking with there mates. But he's nice he didn't say anything like that. But it was good for him to message me first because that means he was thinking about me first.

Also i agree with the text messages being interpretted in different ways. So now that i've broken the ice i think if he doens't ask me out then i will. There is a silverchair/powderfinger concert coming up so i was thinking i'd buy tickets and take a whole heaps of mates and ask him to come along. I'm really nervous though.

Well there has been developments in the not texting me crisis. I was lying in bed thinking that all Tv is crap these days and then i got a message and he asked me how i was and what i was up to? He was out at a party just down the road and i kinda thought he might have messaged me for a booty call. You know what guys are like when they are drinking with there mates. But he's nice he didn't say anything like that. But it was good for him to message me first because that means he was thinking about me first.

Also i agree with the text messages being interpretted in different ways. So now that i've broken the ice i think if he doens't ask me out then i will. There is a silverchair/powderfinger concert coming up so i was thinking i'd buy tickets and take a whole heaps of mates and ask him to come along. I'm really nervous though.

Oooh yeah that is a hard one, isn't it? But the thing with the concert is that it's not like you're "chasing" him, you're just seeing if he wants to come along with a group of friends. So you get the benefit of spending time together but without actually asking him out off the bat. Awesome that he texted you though, and especially when he was drinking a bit - it sounds bad but if he is thinking of you when he's drinking (and not in a booty call way) then that's a GREAT thing! Yay! Good idea about the concert I reckon. Good luck with it!!!

I think the concert idea is good aswell coz there is no pressure on either of us except for when we go home, coz i'll have to ask him in etc you know how it goes. Fun times, its so exciting to have someone to chase and be chased by. I like the idea of the concert but i also wanna be wined and dined at my fave restaurant but there is plenty of time for that, i just gotta get the first date out of the way.

group date sounds like the way to go - he won't even realise it's a date!

you could actually say to him that you're thinking of getting some friends together to go to the concert and what does he think? he might say why don't we just go.... you never know!!!

exciting for you though pp!! :waving:

Well i think the concert idea could be out the window. I looked at buying the tickets but they are really expensive for the venue, so we will have to think about it because we will have to go out for tea before hand or after whatever and besides it is on a sunday night, which kinda sucks. Who knows i maybe i'll just get sick of waiting and ask him out.

Well i think the concert idea could be out the window. I looked at buying the tickets but they are really expensive for the venue, so we will have to think about it because we will have to go out for tea before hand or after whatever and besides it is on a sunday night, which kinda sucks. Who knows i maybe i'll just get sick of waiting and ask him out.

It's funny because I was going to suggest Powderfinger/Silverchair to MY crush-boy, but also decided it was too expensive. :chuckle: That's good money that could be spent on beauty products!! PP why don't you have a bit of a shindig at your house? Say a BBQ to celebrate...umm...the beginning of Spring and the weather warming up! You could make it a really impromptu thing and invite a few people including the boy of course. If he likes you, perhaps he'll hang around afterwards to help "clean up"? And by clean up I of course mean shag you rotten!

Well i think the concert idea could be out the window. I looked at buying the tickets but they are really expensive for the venue, so we will have to think about it because we will have to go out for tea before hand or after whatever and besides it is on a sunday night, which kinda sucks. Who knows i maybe i'll just get sick of waiting and ask him out.

That's a great idea Miss Oz. If that doesn't work out, what about a group date to see a local band? They would appreciate the support and you can still do the group thing.

BTW: have you followed through with your offer to Chris yet Miss Oz? :chuckle::chuckle:

I was also thinking that i should just invit everyone to my house. My bff is getting married and i thought i'd throw her a party or something for all the bridal party and the gf/bf to catchup and get to know each other. and of course i'd invite my boy and it wouldn't feel weird because there will be ppl not in the bridal party there so he won't feel left out. and also hopefully "help clean up" afterwards, and all the next day and all the next night. Its been a while

I was also thinking that i should just invit everyone to my house. My bff is getting married and i thought i'd throw her a party or something for all the bridal party and the gf/bf to catchup and get to know each other. and of course i'd invite my boy and it wouldn't feel weird because there will be ppl not in the bridal party there so he won't feel left out. and also hopefully "help clean up" afterwards, and all the next day and all the next night. Its been a while

YES!! Do it, do it!! This will work on so many levels.
1) You will get person-to-person contact. Always good.
2) He will see what a lovely and generous friend you are to throw a party for your BFF.
3) You have an unparalleled opportunity to make your way to his heart through his stomach. Cook the stuff you know you're good at, lots of yummy nibbles and great drinks. He will also see what a great hostess you are! You could look after him extra-well, keep asking if he needs a drink or anything! Yeah baby do it!

BTW: have you followed through with your offer to Chris yet Miss Oz? :chuckle::chuckle:

Haha no although he and I have been chatting on msn a little bit. I think we both know that our hearts lie in different places and therefore the boob-viewing shall never be! :chuckle:

I and also hopefully "help clean up" afterwards, and all the next day and all the next night. Its been a while

:chuckle: a girl's not a camel that's for sure PP!! :penguin:

Hey Ozlicious, you have been coming up with the best ideas, your a champ.
I am a really good cook and entertainer so i should highlight my strengths to him. I'll have to think about it and talk myself into it but i'm pretty sure it will work.

Hey Ozlicious, you have been coming up with the best ideas, your a champ.
I am a really good cook and entertainer so i should highlight my strengths to him. I'll have to think about it and talk myself into it but i'm pretty sure it will work.

Oh you just have have have to do it!

Sounds like a great idea. GO PP!!!!!!!

Haha no although he and I have been chatting on msn a little bit. I think we both know that our hearts lie in different places and therefore the boob-viewing shall never be! :chuckle:

You broke my heart Miss Oz! ;):chuckle: